I am crying! As a thirty-something adult male, I have tears of joy streaming down my face. Did I just win the lottery? Did I just welcome a new child into the world? No. I just walked out of the movie theater.
I met a blind date at the theater. The good news is that he paid for the movie. The bad news is that I paid for the popcorn. That means he was already ahead a few bucks before the movie even started.
I waited a few weeks to see “Love, Simon.” It’s a typical high school love story … with just one twist — Simon is gay.
The hardest thing to believe about this move wasn’t Simon’s sexuality. It was that fact that Simon and his onscreen friends were actual high schoolers. The truth is they are all in their twenties.
I guess that is typical in Hollywood “teen” movies and TV shows. I mean did you ever really believe Patrick Dempsey was a high school student in “Can’t Buy Me Love?” Well, I guess that was slightly more believable than Luke Perry in “Beverly Hills, 90210.”
If you’ve read my column before, you may already know I dated my sister’s boyfriend in high school. So I think my high school dating life would make a great movie, too. I am not sure who I’d like to play me but Chris Pratt comes to mind (sorry, 90201 fans but Luke Perry is eligible for AARP by now). Yeah, Chris Pratt will do.
But getting back to Simon; the move was cute. I didn’t just cry at the romantic ending; I also laughed my way through most of it. Watching the move, I was always two steps ahead of the plot. It had the typical plots and twist (I won’t spoil them all here) but we always knew Simon would turn out OK. Well, even more than OK.
They now have to set him up for a sequel, right?
By Ryan O’Connor, Guest Columnist
Ryan O’Conner is just a regular guy who is dating in this great big world. His advice comes from personal experience and his advice is for entertainment purposes only. We recommend you consult a physician, counselor or therapist in your area for specific advice about your personal situation. Otherwise, questions can be submitted to firstname.lastname@example.org.